What Men and Women Really Want in a Dating Profile (And How to Nail Yours)

 

So, you’ve created a dating profile. Great! But now comes the tricky part—actually making it stand out. Whether you're swiping on Tinder, scrolling on Bumble, or diving deep into Hinge, one question probably keeps popping up: What do people really want to see in a dating profile?

It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman—we’re all trying to figure out the same thing. How do you come across as interesting, attractive, and real... without sounding like you’re trying too hard?

Well, good news. I’ve done the digging, read the comments, scrolled the forums, and talked to actual people using the apps. And now, I’m breaking down exactly what men and women really want to see in your profile—and how you can give it to them.

Let’s get into it.

1. They Want Honesty (No, Really)

Let’s start here because it’s huge. Both men and women consistently say that honesty is one of the most attractive qualities in a profile.

That means:

• Don’t lie about your age, height, or intentions

• Don’t use photos from five years (or 20 pounds) ago

• Don’t pretend to like hiking if you absolutely hate it

People want to know who they’re really talking to. If you’re genuine from the beginning, you’ll attract people who like you—not some polished-up version.

💡 Pro Tip: Say something that shows your real personality, even if it’s quirky. Example: “I don’t like camping, but I love stargazing from a comfy Airbnb with wine.”

2. Men Want... Clarity, Positivity, and Personality

When guys swipe through profiles, they’re often looking for a woman who:

• Knows what she wants

• Shows a positive vibe

• Feels approachable and fun

They’re not just looking at your photos (though, yes, those matter). They’re trying to figure out if talking to you will be fun—or awkward.

What Helps:

• A warm, smiling photo (huge bonus if it looks natural)

• A short, upbeat bio that shows your personality

• Something specific to comment on (this gives them an “in” for messaging)

What Doesn’t:

• Long lists of what you don’t want

• Bios that read like résumés

• Phrases like “no drama” (it’s a red flag you’ve had some)

Example Bio That Works:

“Book nerd, brunch lover, and unbeatable at Mario Kart. Looking for someone to share cheesy movies and actual cheese boards. Bonus points if you can make me laugh.”

Notice how it’s short, specific, and playful? That’s the vibe most men are drawn to.

3. Women Want... Effort, Humor, and Direction

Let’s flip it. What do women want to see in a man’s dating profile?

Simple:

• A real effort in your bio (no “Just ask” nonsense)

• Photos that show your face (please, not just gym mirror selfies)

• Clarity about your intentions (without sounding needy)

What Helps:

• Mention your passions (music, cooking, travel, etc.)

• Show confidence without arrogance

• A little humor goes a long way

What Doesn’t:

• Group photos where she can’t tell who you are

• Bios like “Looking for my queen” or “I’m just a nice guy”

• Messages that start with “Hey sexy” (just... don’t)

Example Bio That Works:

“I make a killer lasagna, play guitar badly, and never say no to spontaneous road trips. Looking for someone kind, curious, and not afraid to sing in the car.”

It feels real, warm, and easy to engage with—exactly what most women hope for when they open a new profile.

4. Everyone Wants... Good Photos

Let’s be real: your photos matter—a lot. They’re the first thing anyone sees. And while looks aren’t everything, they do help tell your story.

Here’s what people want to see in your pics, regardless of gender:

✅ Do:

• Include 3–5 recent photos

• Show your face (no sunglasses in every pic)

• Include at least one full-body shot

• Show off something you love (pets, hobbies, travel)

❌ Don’t:

• Use old, blurry, or heavily filtered photos

• Post group shots where no one can tell who you are

• Hide behind props, hats, or masks in every picture

Think of your pictures as a visual “hello.” They should say, “Hey, this is me—fun, confident, and living life.”

5. People Want to Know What You’re Looking For

Are you here for something serious? Just testing the waters? Open to anything?

Say it. It’s not desperate—it’s respectful. When you’re clear about your intentions, you attract people who want the same thing.

You can say it casually:

“Looking for something meaningful, but not rushing anything. Let’s see where it goes.”

Or more directly:

“Ready for a serious relationship—no games, just connection.”

Either way, it saves everyone time and heartache.

6. They Want a Conversation Starter

This is a big one. The best profiles include something specific—a hobby, fun fact, opinion, or quirky preference—that gives people a reason to message you.

A good prompt makes it easy for someone to reach out.

Try something like:

• “My guilty pleasure is…”

• “I’ll never say no to…”

• “The last book I read was…”

• “Hot take: pineapple does belong on pizza.”

It makes your profile more memorable—and way more message-worthy.

7. They Don’t Want a Checklist (or Negativity)

A lot of people think they’re being honest by listing deal-breakers or demands in their bio. But most readers just see it as negative.

Stuff like:

• “If you’re not 6'0" don’t bother.”

• “Tired of liars, cheaters, and time-wasters.”

• “Swipe left if you’re not serious.”

Even if your intentions are valid, this tone pushes good people away.

Instead, focus on what you want, not what you’re avoiding.

Better:

“Looking for someone grounded, honest, and loves good conversation. If you’re into live music and tacos, we’ll get along great.”

It’s still clear—but positive.

8. They Want Profiles That Sound Human (Not Generic)

You’ve probably read a hundred bios that sound like this:

“I love to laugh. I enjoy spending time with friends and family. I like going out but also staying in.”

Yawn.

These aren’t bad things, but they’re too vague. Everyone says that. Stand out by being more specific.

Try:

“Saturdays are for farmer’s markets, indie coffee shops, and pretending I know what I’m doing in the kitchen.”

Or:

“Big fan of thunderstorms, bad puns, and people who wave at dogs.”

Be real. Be weird (a little). Be you.

9. They Appreciate Effort

This can’t be said enough: effort matters. A well-thought-out profile, even if it’s short, signals that you’re actually here to connect—not just swipe mindlessly.

A good profile makes people want to message you. A lazy one makes people swipe away.

Take 10–15 minutes to:

• Choose your best photos

• Write a few honest lines

• Share one or two fun details about your life

That’s it. No need for a novel—just show up like you care.

10. They Want to See the Real You

At the end of the day, that’s what everyone wants.

Not perfection. Not flashy lines. Just someone real.

Someone who’s not afraid to:

• Be honest about what they want

• Be themselves

• Laugh at their own jokes

• Share a little of their world

So stop overthinking it. Be clear. Be kind. Show your personality. And trust that the right person will appreciate you for you.

Final Thoughts: Keep It Real, Keep It Fun, Keep It You

Online dating doesn’t have to be complicated. The truth is, what men and women really want in a dating profile isn’t all that different.

They want someone honest. Someone who’s put a little effort in. Someone who’s clear about what they’re looking for. And most importantly—someone who feels real.

So whether you’re writing your first bio or updating an old one, here’s your checklist:

✅ Be honest

✅ Be specific

✅ Be positive

✅ Be yourself

You don’t need to be perfect—you just need to show up. The right people will notice.

Now go out there, update your profile, and maybe send that first message. Your next great connection might be just one click away.